Her Tips for Newlyweds
Tony’s tips for newlyweds were so good that I was almost tempted to write, “What he said.” However, I do have a few of my own tips for newlyweds. Earlier in our marriage I would not have been so quick to agree with him. Tony will tell you that I’ve always been just a tad competitive with him. So, after reading his advice on marriage, I felt a little pressure to outdo him. So, here is my first tip for newlyweds:
Tony and Miriam after over 30 years of marriage
Don’t compete with your spouse
This is a partnership. You have to work together in all things. Compromise is not easy, but it is so essential for a vital marriage. While you should explore and enjoy your individual interests, you do have to frequently meet each other in the middle. It was only a few years ago that I begrudgingly went with Tony to see Iron Man. I liked it so much that I also joined him in viewing Sherlock Holmes and then Star Trek. I loved them all, and now I’m more willing to venture out from the romantic comedies I love. But, I will still never go to a horror movie. That’s where I draw the line. You do have to know your limits. Oh, and no more roller coasters, para-sailing, jet skis, or any other death-defying activity. I’ll watch him from the shore. Someone has to stay behind to call the paramedics.
Say thank you after every gesture.
The second of my tips for newlyweds is - Never take each other for granted. I always thank him when he cooks, and I always thank him for opening the door for me. Yes, he still opens the door for me! I still find him gallant for doing it. It makes me feel special, and I love that he shows his care for me in that simple way. I find that when I notice and show gratitude for his small acts of kindness or even the routine chores like mowing the lawn, he works harder to find more ways to make me smile.
Don’t compare your marriage to others
Finally, the last of my last tips for newlyweds – Your marriage is proprietary. It is unique because it is a comprised of you and your spouse. What you both bring in terms of experience, upbringing, and desires is different from your parents, friends, relatives or co-workers, even if it looks the same on the surface. I may joke around with my friends about how men can be (sorry Tony), but that’s where it ends. I do not share personal information about our relationship – especially the tough stuff. That is just between us and that is the way it should always be. If you need to talk to someone, talk to each other even if you need a professional intermediary. That is the only way any disagreements will be solved anyway.
All of these tips for newlyweds take time, and they are not as easy as they sound. But there is truth to the idiom – love conquers all. By the way, just in case you noticed, I think my word count was higher than his.